Wow long time since I have felt like posting on here.  What can I say.  Life is going on.  Moms service was beautiful and full of laughter and memories.  I'm still working on getting the video formatted so I can share on here.  So much has happened I don't even know where to begin.  I've been busy so no Christmas Cards this year!  Sorry!

I'm now divorced.  The boys and I are adjusting fabulously to our new life.  I've started working, so juggling kids, house, daycare, school and fun has become my new weird norm.  Of course I'm rocking it Katie style as always. 

Scip and his family are moving along as well. Jenn hosted Thanksgiving this year.  It was wonderful with her fabulous deserts!  It was definitely an emotional day but we got through it smiling and being together.  Mom would have been proud.

Dad... he's doing well.  He decided to get a hip replacement to keep us all on our toes.  Why take a break for mental health reasons???  Of course in typical Mike fashion he was driving less than a week later and heading into work.  His PT guy caught him blowing the driveway and dragging the trashcans up the hill too.  Crazy old man. 

I'm hosting Christmas at my house next week.  Its all decked out w/ old and new décor.  My main focus will be making sure the boys have a magical and memorable Christmas.  It will be weird for them on so many levels.  Our usual Christmas Eve was always spent at mom and dads w/ a full day there on Christmas.  Mom left us with many memories and traditions that we will stick to the best we can.  Not really able to put into words the void that is in our lives right now.  And on that note I'm done!  :)  As always I don't know what our family would have done w/out all the support from all of you.  Thank you and have a very Merry Christmas!  Love each other like its your last Christmas! 

NOW in case anyone forgot I'm doing Relay again this year.  Feel free to sign up or donate!  Its a must that we get this shit cured!!! Like everything else this year, Relay will have a different feel to it since it will be remembering mom but also celebrating her life!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CH8o5JJiq4 this is what Relay is!
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/susansturquoisepeacesigns this should take you to our page for Relay!
Thanks y'all Peace and Love!!!!
Katie

Writing this post has been something I have been trying to do for weeks.  I just can't quite find the right words or anything.  I'm a bit speachless on the entire topic I suppose.  I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that mom is gone.  Its been a little over a month as you all know.  We are finishing up the details of the service.  I promised I would send out the info on that so here it is people.  
                            Tuesday, October 9th, 2012 at 2:00 PM
                        being held at Johnson Ferry Baptist Church on 
                            Johnson Ferry Road, Marietta, GA 

                  Reception to follow at the Chimney Springs Club House
                                        from 4 -6 PM

We do have a block of rooms at the Holiday Inn on Holcomb Bridge in Roswell, GA.  The block is under the name Lehman.  1-800-230-4134
We have used this hotel for years for quite a few family gatherings and such.

As a family we are holding up quite well I guess.  Depends on the day for sure..  Not sure if thats because thats what mom would want or if its because we are all still in a haze that this has all happened.  Dr. H always said things could turn on a dime and by God he was right.  Dad and Scip have been keeping their minds occupied by jumping right back into work.  Me... well I have kept them busy as well dealing w/ my unexpected life drama.  I have had to make some difficult decisions lately about my life and how things are to go from here.   Dad, Scip and Jenn and  have been amazing as well as the rest of the family , my surrogate moms Cindy and Judy and of course my fabulous friends.

There have been a lot of requests and questions about donating to the American Cancer Society in moms name.  Well I will be heading up our Relay for Life Team again here very soon.  I have backed off my participation on that recently because I have needed a break from "Cancer" and how it has destroyed so much of what I know.  That was truly one of the last nights mom enjoyed completely so I feel I need to remember that.  I will post team information at a later date about Relay.  In the meantime please continue to remember Susan as the vibrant, fabulous woman that she was and the bright smiling angel that she is now.  Hope to see a lot of you at the service.  Thanks again for all the thoughts, prayers and continued support and love for our family. 

I think I have been living in denial that I would ever have to write this post.  We all knew it was heading this direction and for the past month we have all been waiting and hoping that there would just be peace.  Mom passed away on Monday, August 20th at 2:06 AM.  Dad, Scip and I were there for a good part of the day to be with her because we were once again warned by one of our favorite nurses Doreen.  She had made at least 2 false predictions of moms passing already.  The real deal was quite evident on Sunday though.  Mom was very peaceful and comfortable.  She also had her own fan club of pretty much the entire staff of Atlanta Hospice. 

As a family we are all doing ok.  Sad and heartbroken of course but I think mom stuck around all this time so the transition for us would be easier.  We have decided to hold her services on October 9th.  That would have been mom and dads 42nd wedding anniversary.  It will be at Johnson Ferry Baptist in Marietta, GA.  I don't have any further details right now.  I know that we have also all agreed that instead of flowers or donations we would like honor and celebrate mom by asking that you pay it forward or help someone in need, whether that be in need of support, a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a meal and so on.  Thank you for all your wishes and prayers and love and support.  I will post more on the service as the details are developed. 

Love The Lehman

I really should have been updating more but we all seem to be living in a
twilight zone and NO Edward and Jacob are not in this story.  Mom has continued
to fight and amaze not only us but the entire hospice staff and doctors.  Its
now been over a week since she has been awake at all.  Not quite sure anymore
how long its been since she had any food.  A bite of icecream the Sunday before
last I believe and a sip of water then also.  Nothing since??  There have still
been a number of days when we hear "this is the day" and well... it wasn't.  Her
vitals have maintained stable and her color comes and goes depending on the
weather I suppose.  The staff has now raised their white flags and are probably
rethinking their career choice simply b/c mom is schooling them in just how much
they don't know.  There have been volunteers that have come in that are
"mediums" and someone that dad thought was about to wave a chicken over her as
well.  I'm thinking its time to call in the producers of Medical Mysterys so we
can at least start to profit off this phenomenon.  Dad has been spending most of
his days up there talking to mom as she sleeps comfortably.  I think he is also
now finding it purely entertaining as he watches his wife mind fuck everyone. 
Sorry for my crude choice of words but at this point thats about the only thing
to sum up the past month for all of us.  And of course if you have been reading
along you know the F bomb is my favorite on a good day.  The support and love
for our family and for mom is so unreal.  It just keeps coming in and keeps us
going on.  It apparently is keeping mom going too.  We have prayed, begged,
bartered and everything in between for her peace but I think its hit home that
nothing we say or do will make a difference now. 
In reference to some of
our support my tennis team made it to City Finals for our mixed season.  That is
quite the big deal down here in the ATL.  On top of the rockin tennis that is
played that day there is a table and site decorating contest that goes on as
well.  My team is made up of such amazing and fabulous people and friends of
mine that they decorated the the site in none other than Turquoise Peace Signs
and dedicated their play to mom.  We won city that day and it was quite and
overwhelming and emotional experience hearing them shout "Do it for Susan" as
they battled for our final match to push us to championship.  Everyone was
decked out in turquoise and moms story quickly spread through the coordinators
as they all came to check out our site and the family that our team has become. 
Yes I'm taking this moment to thank them and let them know just how beautiful
they are to me and the family.  I have had friends bring me donuts, soup, coffee
and love on a daily basis pretty much.  There have been days I have needed
picking up off the floor and I am surrounded w/ love within minutes.  I'm sure
dad and Scip can say the same for them as well.  The family team returned to
their homes I guess 2 weeks ago now so that we could all get back to some sort
of strange ass normal.  Sigh... WTF is normal now? 

Anyway
all I can say is thanks you as a family we will pay it forward all the love and
support we have recieved and the prayers, the ju ju, the candle light, the
swinging chickens, snake charming, chanting, and positive energy and love. 
Thanks friends and family.  I will try to keep more updates but they will more
than likely be more of the same or a report of how the finale plays out! 
Peace!!!!

So things didn't exactly go as planned.  I'm trying to remember the daily events accurately.  I suppose it was the Thursday after our "meeting" that the doctors made the call that mom had become transfusion dependent.  Basically meaning that she would have to have blood transfusions and injections and platelets just to continue the way she was in the hospital.  Her white cells never got above .04 even with daily boosters.  Her pain meds were only being given every 4 hours and she needed more assistance than we could provide at home.  I won't even go into the fun we had trying to get her into a hospice facility.  Given that we started trying on Thursday and didn't get her anywhere until Saturday at 2 you can only imagine.  Anyway, we got her into a fabulous place.  It has french doors from her room that lead out into this fabulous garden with trees and birds and fountains.  We have been able to wheel her bed right out here.  Saturday night Scip and I stayed the night with her.  I can't say that we slept all that well b/c the chairs weren't that great.  Sunday morning mom had made some marked digression.  We were actually told to call the family and let them say goodbye.  Good times I tell ya.  Lisa was due in at 11 from Miami.  At 10:45 the charge nurse told us to hold her hand and let her know we love her and its ok to go.  At 11 the social worker walked into the room and asked for Mrs. Lehman.  Mom all but sat up and said "I'm Mrs. Lehman".  Still not sure any of us have words for that moment.  Minutes later Lisa, Bob, Suzy and Jenn all showed up and weren't sure what had happened by the look on our faces.  Someone went to get the nurse to tell them we needed her.  She sadly looked up and said "ohhh nooo, I'm so sorry, she has passed".  (something along those lines) and whoever told her "ummm no Susan is up and talking".  Yep we freaked her out.  I proceeded to take a whole xanex and spent the rest of the day drooling in a chair somewhere.  Mom proceeded to eat icecream and dinner and then followed that up with some chinese food with Lisa and I while watching the Bachelorette.  The next morning she woke at 4 wanting coffee.  The morning after that she woke at 4 again wanting coffee and tiramisu.  Why not.  LIsa and I were rocking the night shift giving mom facials and pedis and counting her breathes per minute.  Dad had the day shift and was hanging quietly at her side.  I'm thinking maybe around Wednesday things started to change.  Mom stopped wanting food, then stopped wanting water, her sleeping became more and more frequent w/ less and less interaction with us.  Thursday, the same, Friday the same.  Lisa and I had finally brought in an air mattress at some point and we were getting decent sleep at night.  Bob was coming by in the mornings, some days dad brought Suzy.  Scip and Jenn would pop in too.  Its been quite a circus.  Saturday we were told by the nurse that mom was in a semi coma state and that we should go home and give her some space and take care of ourselves.  Things were progressing to the next level.  We have all said what we need to, we are begging and pleading now for her to go and be at peace.  There won't be any recovery.  Soooo anyway, dad and Suzy stayed till about noon and left.  All of us were having some withdrawel from the "cottage" last night.  So this morning... I was talking with Suzy when dad called the nurses station to find that mom had woken up, pulled out her catheter, stood up, got out of bed and was dragging her morophine pump behind her.  Hmmmm.  Boy wasn't this the last thing we thought we would hear.  I'm sure dad made it down here in record time.  Shortly after dad called me and asked if I wanted to talk to mom.  Ummm sure dad.  (you have to understand, by this point we have had countless mini episodes of saying goodbye just to be startled by her sudden reawakenings).  So I got on the phone w/ mom and of course told her I loved her and of course asked..."so whats going on".  Then dad asked her to tell me what she wanted.  God only knew what she wanted, its been anything from icecream to lamb chops lately.  Well she wanted a Corona and to go sit outside.  So Lisa and I hopped in the car, grabbed the coronas and a lime.  Naturally she was dozing off when I got here so I spoon fed her corona added it to flavor her ice chips.  The nurses and Chaplan Bob all had the same look we did on our faces.  Kind of that open mouthed blank stare.  Lisa and I have proceeded to have the most hilarious day with her.  Clearly she was on a huge morophine high b/c NOTHING she said made any sense and we spoke in British accents for at least 2 hours.  We even got the nurses involved.  Mom has made quite a name for herself here and naturally everyone wants to meet this "miracle woman".  Lisa and I have decided to just take her lead and play in the fun and stop stressing over letting her know its ok to go.  She knows.  She has her own little agenda that she is failing to share with any of us.  Tonight she is resting again and we are enjoying the fabulousness of the "cottage" that we have affectionately nick named this little haven.  Lots of laughter, lots of tears and lots of love in this room.  Thats the update from the past 8 days.  Things are bound to change but who knows at what point they will be the final change.  For now all we can ask is for prayers of peace for mom and prayers for sanity to return to our family.  Mom is taking us all on this wild journey that some people call dying.  I think mom called it siezing the day which she continues to do in her own way.  She always was the last to leave the party.  Updates to follow as things progress or parties are planned.  Love to you all

I'm not even sure where to start with this post given my last one had such great news.  This one will have zero great news.  Maybe 2 weeks ago mom had chemo for what seems to be the last time.  It really knocked her down.  She got thrush last week and somehow we went from that to sepsis.  Lisa and Dean were visiting over the weekend and mom got more and more uncomfortable and unable to eat or drink.  Monday she was very weak and she went back to the ER and was admitted again.  She was dehydrated and her blood counts were critically low if even registering.  Pretty much zeros.  She got another blood transfusion and started getting antibiotics and shots to boost her white blood count.  Tuesday her DR called me (per her instructions) and was blunt in letting me know that had she not come in she would have died.  He also was very clear in letting me know that things will not be improving for the most part.  Best case scenerio now is that mom beats the sepsis and gets her immune system up enough to come home.  When she does get home hospice care will be involved because options for more treatment have been taken off the table because her immune system has been officially destroyed.  As a family we are in agreement that we keep mom as comfortable as possible so she can have quality time left with friends and family.  There is always the outside chance that things could turn around and she would feel up to more chemo but at this point that is a very outside chance.  The side affects at this point have become worse than the cancer itself.  We are all kind of in a tailspin right now.  Mom did so well for so long I think we might have all been oblivious to her cancer and especially this happening.  Her DR always said it could turn on a dime and that it did.  None of us are really ok but we are committed to making sure mom is comfortable and getting exactly what she wants.  Dad was unbelievebly strong yesterday in the meeting at the hospital.  I was the one who was screaming in my head for everyone to get out of my way so I could just breathe.  Scip seems lost.  And mom isn't ready.  She looks beautiful as always.  That was the strangest part was looking at her looking so good even in the drab hospital gown and hearing the DRs say to prepare for end of life.  This is all so F - ed up and truly insane.  Moms sister Lisa is here as well and moving into our house today.  Dad has requested his privacy at the house to do what he needs to do.  Any visitors are welcome at our house or my brothers.  I promise to be better about updates.  Mom has touched so many hearts and its rather overwhelming to her (not so much me b/c I know how fabulous and infectious her love and friendship is).  Thank you all for everything you have given our family.  I know the fight isn't over just yet and I don't mean to sound so grim and hopeless but

Ok so as I mentioned on Monday we got mom back in the hospital for her cellulitis.  What a long week it has been.  Tuesday dad had a meltdown that there were 6 doctors all trying to figure out what was wrong w/ mom and they were all conversing on different options.  I went to the hospital to check it out for myself.  I met at least 5 of them and mom was great and in seemed fine and in great spirits also.  Some of the doctors even seemed to provide a comedy show for us.  It was actually great fun.  When it came down to it no one could really figure out what was wrong and why and why it had come back.  So on Wed. morning mom called and said she was being released (not sick enough to be in the hospital) and they had a derm appt. for her for a biopsy.  So I got my act together and got there to pick her up and go out to Tucker to her appt.  Another fantastic dr.  She explained that since 6 drs at the hospital couldn't agree on or figure out what was wrong that a biopsy was the best route so we could get this under control w/out pushing meds blindly at it.  Mom was home resting by 3.  The results were "rush" status so we found out yesterday its lymphodema???  Mom made it sound pretty basic and treatable w/ meds.  Cool.  Other than that she is totally fine.  She amazed another round of drs. with her stage 4 kick ass status.  It really is like being with a rockstar hanging with her.  The Drs all act like she is some medical marvel since she is in such amazing health for her "situation".  Ya

So as you all saw May was a big month because of Moms birthday and Relay. Relay was a HUGE success.  We had Lisa come in from Miami, Suzy, Bill and Linda came in from Ohio and it was just one big party.  Our team raised close to $16,000 for American Cancer Society.  Our camp site was also THE BEST ONE there.  So thank you thank you thank you to all of you that donated.  Mom rocked the Survivor Lap sporting her turquoise Katie Perry wig, not that she needed it since she hasn't lost her hair, but it was still pretty bad ass!  I have no idea how many people, friends, family, fans and whatnot were at our site, it was really amazing.  So bringing that to a close I slept all day Saturday and most of Mothers Day Sunday.   
    On Monday I got to moms to visit before dropping Ethan at school.  Lisa was leaving that day and dad had work.  Mom was not exactly herself.  She kept saying she felt like she had had a stroke and she had this lovely sunburn rash on her leg.  Hmmmm, when it took her a good 20 minutes to email her dr. and when she had to ask for my phone number I thought it might be time to go to the ER.  So we went to Northside b/c they have the best Cancer care in GA.  Well mom had cellulitis, a skin infection, and it was quite extensive.  So they admitted her.  She should have had a 104 temp but b/c her blood counts were so low her immune system was not fighting like it should.  So she had a lovely 10 day stay.  She had many visits from Jenn (Scips wife who works across the street at the Childrens hospital) and lots of visits from Cindy and Judy who even made signs for the American Idol finale.  Finally mom got sprung from the hospital and has been home resting and working hard at fighting this last bit of infection.
    In the meantime her Dr. (Dr. Hamrick her oncologist) called to tell her that her scans that she had while in the hospital came back completely stable and with no change or growth since February!  HOLY SHAT thats fantastic!!!!  Wooooooo Whooooooo!  He called this a victory and that the chemo is working!  Celebration city over here I tell ya!  
    Well yesterday dad called and said that mom was going back to the hospital b/c her cellulitis is back.  Ugh.  So I went over b/c we were waiting to hear what her infectious disease dr had to say.  So I took her to the Kaiser medical center per his instructions.  Well as soon as the Dr. there saw her he decided she would be transported to Northside b/c again the extensiveness of the cellulitis was too much for one day of iv antibiotics.   Soooo they gave mom her iv meds and did blood work while Northside found her a room and an ambulance became available.  The good news is that her blood work this time came back normal so hopefully it will help her fight this off faster this time and she can come home sooner.  So that gets everyone caught up.  
    As always the rest of the family is doing well, hanging tough and loving this roller coaster that mom keeps entertaining us with.  She is one hell of a fighter and most days makes this look pretty easy.  We know that all the love and support and frienship and family plays a huge role in her recovery.  Thank you all and please keep all the love, prayers, positive healing vibes, thoughts, ju ju and what not coming our way.  I promise to be better at keeping everyone updated.  I let dad take the lead for a while so I could decompress after our move and Relay! 

Ok so I have been neglecting things here.  Sorry.  We closed on our house April 13th so between that and wrapping things up with Relay my time has been swallowed up.  Ok so I suppose you want to know how mom is.  She just finished up 12 treatments of radiation to her neck.  She had a new spot there that had developed on the last Pet scan.  Anyways, she powered through that as always.  She had a little bit of fatigue and a sore throat for a bit.  Lisa, her sister was here for 2 weeks to ease mom and dads sadness when we moved out.  Just the other day mom hopped back on her chemo plan.  Her right hip has started hurting a bit.  That is the hip that will be treated soon w/ cementplasty.  It is a bone cement that can be injected into malignant bone to help ease pain and help prevent fracture.  If that were to fracture it would be pretty nasty to repair.  Now that I'm not in the mix at the house I'm not privy to all the daily stuff.  I don't know when her next scan is or her next appt. w/ the Dr. H is.  I would assume soon. 

As for other exciting things going on... hmmmm Ethan turned 7 and lost his front teeth, Mom's birthday was last Sunday, Dads birthday is tomorrow.  My car finally broke down for good last week so dad hooked me up with a new Kia Soul.  Mom's lease was up on her Edge so dad hooked her up w/ a Kia Sorento.  It was a good month for dad.  We love our house, its kinda sad not being w/ mom for our spring finales of our shows.  Me and the boys did go stay the night last Thursday so we could watch them together.  Tomorrow the Lehman Sisters ( Linda and Suzy and Suzy's husband Bill) and Lisa all show up for Relay for Life.  We are Susan's Turquoise Peace Signs and wow how our team has taken off.  We have like 35 team members and I'm captaining the crew.  Crazy.  Friday night is Relay.  We have raised quite a bit of money, I'm thrilled but we could always raise more!  We will be camping out and walking all thru the night as our fight for the cure begins.  If you would like to donate or purchase a luminary in honor of or in memory of someone please visit our site.  We have 24 hours left till relay!  I hope you are all doing well and thank you again for all your love and support.  Mom is rockin it like a star!  Still working and enjoying life!  Happy Birthday Mom!!!  Cheers to Many more!!!!

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/katiebarrentine